I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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