I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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