True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize