dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
