My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
