i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
