your room smells of hookers.
And success
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
