I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize