He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
