fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
