she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
