I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize