Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
