did you get engaged???
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
