make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
