So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
