we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We're too hungover to prance.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
