yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
