I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
