do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
