I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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