I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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