I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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