Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
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in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize