omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
