i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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