My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
