FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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