Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
