i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
