guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Every concussion has its silver lining
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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