You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
