the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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