I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
