I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
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Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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