College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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