Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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