So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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