My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
