Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
