I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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