Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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