I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
