And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
