I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
