Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
