Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
