When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize