you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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