I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
