I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
