i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
