a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
