yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
