I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
