Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I would fuck him just for his dog
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
