so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
