so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
