Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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