I'm so fucking centered right now
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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