And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
