What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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