It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
