Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
