Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"

  (1-916): View more from California

  High five!

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  (916): Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?" (1-916): High five! http://tfl.nu/3w1i
  Replies (2) Good night (2616) Bad night (497)
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  (949): View more from California

  who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

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  (949): who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool http://tfl.nu/a4ly
  Replies (7) Good night (1171) Bad night (1736)
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  (408): View more from California

  Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions

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  (408): Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions http://tfl.nu/cic0
  Replies (100) Good night (7242) Bad night (1199)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s

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  (631): Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s http://tfl.nu/25cx
  Replies (17) Good night (4277) Bad night (605)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.

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  (330): hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival. http://tfl.nu/kgpd
  Replies (9) Good night (4477) Bad night (729)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.

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  (214): Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned. http://tfl.nu/8xw4
  Replies (23) Good night (1421) Bad night (4272)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.

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  (901): My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary. http://tfl.nu/r2s3
  Replies (9) Good night (5203) Bad night (928)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.

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  (979): She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today. http://tfl.nu/i2c6
  Replies (8) Good night (845) Bad night (5273)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.

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  (281): You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop. http://tfl.nu/puvx
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (1614)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive

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  (609): Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive http://tfl.nu/ad0s
  Replies (0) Good night (1028) Bad night (580)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She seemed pretty into it.

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  (304): I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl. (440): Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that. (304): She seemed pretty into it. http://tfl.nu/8b1w
  Replies (2) Good night (1216) Bad night (616)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(

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  (419): She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :( http://tfl.nu/482z
  Replies (3) Good night (350) Bad night (747)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.

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  (905): yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child. http://tfl.nu/c0t1
  Replies (0) Good night (332) Bad night (316)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.

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  (224): He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how. http://tfl.nu/e26b
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (179)
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  (707): View more from California

  I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.

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  (707): I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town. http://tfl.nu/lgoh
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (145)

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