Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Did you save them?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who?

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  (404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning. (305): Did you save them? (404): Who? http://tfl.nu/1xdf
  Replies (28) Good night (5526) Bad night (1199)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)

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  (803): I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack) http://tfl.nu/29kp
  Replies (21) Good night (5114) Bad night (611)
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  (916): View more from California

  How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.

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  (916): How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology. http://tfl.nu/cnij
  Replies (34) Good night (1128) Bad night (3723)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.

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  (913): Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla. http://tfl.nu/bslp
  Replies (12) Good night (1581) Bad night (4397)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?

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  (443): does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us? http://tfl.nu/0adv
  Replies (7) Good night (1009) Bad night (3813)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly

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  (617): the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly http://tfl.nu/7zul
  Replies (3) Good night (1908) Bad night (800)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I demand visitation hours with the duck.

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  (602): I demand visitation hours with the duck. http://tfl.nu/cyd2
  Replies (10) Good night (4286) Bad night (1007)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.

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  (609): He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies. http://tfl.nu/y08j
  Replies (5) Good night (750) Bad night (1219)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.

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  (904): its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go. http://tfl.nu/zvzo
  Replies (14) Good night (528) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Is this an intervention?

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  (770): You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina" (678): Is this an intervention? http://tfl.nu/de9f
  Replies (3) Good night (990) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working

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  (706): See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working http://tfl.nu/fcot
  Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now

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  (425): I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now http://tfl.nu/j4rg
  Replies (4) Good night (875) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night

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  (717): i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night http://tfl.nu/ncnb
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.

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  (561): Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her. http://tfl.nu/tvor
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.

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  (209): I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately. http://tfl.nu/q37y
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (290)

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