Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican. (310): ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated. http://tfl.nu/5wsv
  Replies (12) Good night (503) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/qapf
  Replies (48) Good night (4048) Bad night (2998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/9e4p
  Replies (6) Good night (724) Bad night (3708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am http://tfl.nu/0mrv
  Replies (6) Good night (4773) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day http://tfl.nu/zvmb
  Replies (21) Good night (3767) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. http://tfl.nu/b4vo
  Replies (95) Good night (5853) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): She never called back. Financed a fleshlight. http://tfl.nu/uvos
  Replies (13) Good night (676) Bad night (3193) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew. http://tfl.nu/1b9c
  Replies (30) Good night (7909) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him. http://tfl.nu/d83n
  Replies (4) Good night (1731) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity http://tfl.nu/9e9v
  Replies (9) Good night (2192) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot. http://tfl.nu/h8z2
  Replies (6) Good night (2661) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse http://tfl.nu/4qxw
  Replies (14) Good night (589) Bad night (1252) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila. http://tfl.nu/4mhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck. http://tfl.nu/8cn6
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws. http://tfl.nu/2p61
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt

Randomize