Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.

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  (814): Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me. (1-814): I hope you walked the shit out of that shame. http://tfl.nu/1vn7
  Replies (15) Good night (1008) Bad night (2294)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.

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  (814): he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out. http://tfl.nu/d51a
  Replies (13) Good night (738) Bad night (4557)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.

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  (860): he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit. http://tfl.nu/apjr
  Replies (37) Good night (1355) Bad night (6195)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.

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  (518): I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son. http://tfl.nu/kmmn
  Replies (5) Good night (4771) Bad night (1117)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think

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  (443): If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think http://tfl.nu/rcq5
  Replies (11) Good night (2065) Bad night (798)
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  (323): View more from California

  I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

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  (323): I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel http://tfl.nu/ythu
  Replies (5) Good night (1503) Bad night (619)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.

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  (832): i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night. http://tfl.nu/81zt
  Replies (12) Good night (2255) Bad night (530)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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  (828): Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado http://tfl.nu/of4e
  Replies (27) Good night (3645) Bad night (848)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo

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  (540): I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo http://tfl.nu/4u98
  Replies (2) Good night (1481) Bad night (467)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.

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  (610): we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty. http://tfl.nu/7ebu
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (843)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.

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  (201): I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever. http://tfl.nu/v0jl
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (398)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.

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  (512): I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero. http://tfl.nu/e4j3
  Replies (2) Good night (1385) Bad night (379)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.

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  (803): So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops. http://tfl.nu/g5jw
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (801)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!

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  (636): She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude! http://tfl.nu/l1oq
  Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (293)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.

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  (416): and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation. http://tfl.nu/i67g
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (695)

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