What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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